Friday, June 10, 2011

Taking Time to Rest

The pause, breathe, stillness, etc., etc. I got a nice reminder today about the power of Rest. We all KNOW how important it is to Rest, but RARELY do we make it a priority in our lives. I KNOW I don't. This week I was even told by an accupuncturist that my chronically sore left shoulder is telling my body that I need rest, but I have heeded his advice yet? Not really. As my husband said to me, " If your doctor told you to stop smoking and drinking, but you kept drinking, you would not be following his advice."

I receive daily inspirational emails from a variety of sources, Yoga Journal, Daily OM, Bone Sigh Arts and Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31 email today is entitled, "Slow It Down." The message quotes the following Bible verse from Genesis,

“God called the light ‘day’ and the darkness he called ‘night.’ And there was evening, and there was morning…” Genesis 1:5 (NIV)

From the author's perspective God created night first, then morning. Rest is the priority, so we have the energy to greet the morning. Huh...could it be that simple?! Maybe?

I continue to receive MANY messages about my need to rest. I am the only one with the power to pay attention. One day at a time, one breath at a time....

Love to you!!

xoxo

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

When the Path is Blocked by Mark Nepo

Mark Nepo is absolutely brilliant!! The Divine's sense of timing is absolutely astounding!! The following is teh reading that showed up for me as I taught my classes today and it was quite powerful...

"We are each a mountain for the other to climb, and often our path to love is interrupted by a mishap or a problem or something unexpected that needs attending. We tend to call these unexpected things in life “obstacles.”

Often the thing in the way comes from another person; a stubbornness falls like a tree blocking where we want to go, or a sadness comes like a flash flood to muddy the road between us, or just as we go to rest in the clearing we have prepared, we are bitten by something hiding in the undergrowth. Thus, in daily ways, we have this constant choice: to see each other as the stubborn, muddy, biting thing that blocks our way, or to back up and take in the whole person as we would a mountain in its entirety, dizzy when looking up into its majesty.

When we are blocked in our closeness with one another, we have this constant opportunity: to raise our eyes and behold each other completely, then to kneel and lift the fallen tree, or cross the flooded path, or pluck and toss the biting thing. We have the chance to keep climbing, so we might cup the water that runs from each other, so we might quench our thirst as from a mountain stream, knowing that love like water comes softly through the hardest places."

BEHOLD EACH OTHER COMPLETELY...envisioning the power, the sacredness of the word BEHOLD allows me to stop and appreciate the sacredness and beauty that exists within all; it's just sometimes in the stubborness or sadness that we lose our way of "being" authentic in this world. We forget who we are.BEHOLD...when this word is used, it conjures up an image of something or someone so spectacular that it takes one's breath away. How would the world be if we were able to use this word more often?

Then having the faith of knowing that love like water comes softly through the hardest places. What a blessed and magnificent image. Can we believe that we are Truly and Divinely Loved, no matter what...in our hidden and open places...we are sooo LOVED. That is the miracle of living...the softening that occurs in one's life when you invite love in.:)

Peace and love,

Corinne

Sunday, June 5, 2011

FORGIVENESS

"The word for today ... FORGIVENESS. Forgive the thoughts that say you are separate and alone. Forgive the thoughts that say you are not enough, or don't deserve love. Forgive the silent patterns that keep you in resistance or fear. Forgive, forgive, forgive. And then forgive again. The entire day breathing forgiveness into yourself, into every situation, into the world."
WOW!! My friend posted this on her Facebook page today...Forgiveness is an on-going theme in my life over the past few months and it is sooo damn hard... gentle reminder of the call to live from the heart. Tomorrow I am going to try to breathe forgiveness; inhaling and exhaling forgiveness all day long...perhaps it will bring me closer...can't hurt..

Love to all!

xoxo

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Burying and Planting

So the wisdom of the Divine continually shows up in my life. Today I opened The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo to read aloud a passage in one of my yoga classes. It is entitled, Burying and Planting. "The culmination of one love, one dream, one self, is the anonymous seed of the next."
Mark Nepo continues,
"There is very little difference between burying and planting. For often, we need to put dead things to rest, so that new life can grow. And further, the thing to put to rest-whether it be a loved one, a dream, or a false way of seeing-becomes the fertilizer for the life about to form. As the well-used thing joins with the earth , the old love fertilizes the new; the broken dream fertilizes the dream yet conceived; the painful way of being that strapped us to the world fertilizes the freer inner stance about to unfold.

This is very helpful when considering the many forms of self we inhabit over a lifetime. One self carries us to the extent of its usefulness and dies. We are then forced to put that once beloved skin to rest, to join it with the ground of spirit from which it came, so it may fertilize the next skin of self that will carry us into tomorrow.

There is always grief for what is lost and always surprise at what is born. But much of our pain in living comes from wearing a dead and useless skin, refusing to put it to rest, or from burying such things with the intent of hiding them rather than relinquishing them.

For every new way of being, there is a failed attempt mulching beneath the tongue. For every sprig that breaks surface, there is an old stick stirring underground. For every moment of joy sprouting, there is a new moment of struggle taking root.

We live, embrace, and put to rest our dearest things, including how we see ourselves, so we can resurrect our lives anew."

WOW!! This reading took my breath away today. These past few weeks have been incredibly interesting and challenging for me- I am learning to knit, I created this blog, I am reading a great deal, practicing Reiki almost daily(for my training), I facilitated the meditation and movement pieces of a workshop for SOAR(Speaking Out Against Rape), teaching kids yoga, I have an urge to purge..I am doing a good deal of things that are new and different for me. A dear friend told me last night she was sensing I was nesting as if I was pregnant and preparing for something...Hmmm... wala! this reading appears...

"So we can resurrect our lives anew..." A most powerful line, as a resurrection is a miracle; the ultimate symbol of hope out of despair.

Perhaps the most powerful stanza for me is the one I bolded. How many times have I hidden rather than relinquished; how many times did I avoid because I thought it was too painful to feel or I was too scared to face the reality of my experience or my Truth. I feared my world would be shattered; there would be no safety in the unknown. I would stay in painful relationships because it was what I knew;it was familiar. I didn't know or understand that I could experience different or perhaps better. Now I know I can; I know I HAVE to. To face the truth about myself or others is not always comfortable or easy, but self-compassion and Grace goes a long way. The alternative of holding onto a life of falsity is no longer possible when I know there is the hope of a resurrection with a life anew waiting for me.

I invite you to bury and plant this week a part of your life or yourself that no longer serves you with Self-compassion and Self-love. If you are so moved I would be grateful to hear from you or feel free to share.

Much love,
Corinne

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Breathe Into The Light: Check this out!!

Breathe Into The Light: Check this out!!

http://zenatplay.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/23ThingsAboutYou.pdf

Check this out!!

http://zenatplay.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/23ThingsAboutYou.pdf

From Karen Maezen Miller's website- 23 Things About You- inspirational messages about yourself as a gift in this world www.zenatplay

More on Blame from Tara Brach

Creating Peace by Letting Go of Blame

by Tara Brach (This article originally was published in Awakening Mind, June, 2003)


We’ve all been hurt, disappointed, betrayed, maybe even abused. Sometimes the perpetrator is someone we love; at other times it may be an institution such as our employer or our government; still other times, we mistreat ourselves. But regardless of the source of our pain, we instinctively react with aversion—both as individuals and as communities. Our anger and blame help us to feel in control and motivate us to eliminate the threat. We yell at our spouse or our co-worker. We punish ourselves. As a nation, we declare war on the enemy.

The Buddha taught that although such reactions are natural, at best they provide only temporary relief, and inevitably they fuel further reaction. As with all other phenomena, the Buddha suggested that we meet violence with an accepting, compassionate presence. But for many of us, the question immediately arises: Does this mean we should buckle under and accept the person who has betrayed us, accept those who make war or destroy the environment in our name, accept our own addictive behaviors? Such acceptance might even seem unethical—as if we’re supposed to simply stand back and watch harmful behaviors unfold with a detached eye.

In a recent magazine interview on my book Radical Acceptance I was asked, “As a peace activist, how do you reconcile acceptance with a world that is violent and filled with suffering?” That’s a good question, because it points out a misunderstanding about what Radical Acceptance means. Radical Acceptance does not mean allowing someone to harm us or to injure themselves. It does not mean that we endorse war. Rather, Radical Acceptance is the capacity to recognize clearly what is happening inside us in the present moment, and to meet what we see with kindness. We accept our own experience of the hurt or fear or anger that arise in reaction to an external circumstance. Only when we do so can our decisions and actions be guided by a wise heart.

This past year, reading the newspapers was for me a regular source of dismay, blame and anger. I felt outraged at individuals in power who made decisions that I believed directly caused suffering. I blamed them for deception, for not caring about the consequences of their aggression. But when I remembered to practice Radical Acceptance, the experience was very different. I would pause, stop reading and ask myself what was happening inside. I’d note the swelling pressure and heat of anger in my body and just allow it to be there, without judgment. Deepening my attention, I would invariably experience the grip of fear—fear for our world, fear of how violence and misunderstanding is proliferating, fear about how we are devastating our natural habitat. As I continued to offer a gentle presence, fear would gradually give way to a tender caring about life. Now I could resume reading and, instead of reacting with righteous anger, I was more inclined to respond to the headlines with compassion.

Practicing in this way allows us to see more clearly what we have been reacting to. We see that when we blame, we’re caught up in a narrative that necessarily includes a villain. Yet there is no single person or group of people responsible for causing suffering. Harmful behaviors are driven by ignorance—by fear, greed or hatred. When we realize this, instead of casting blame we are freer to respond with understanding and forgiveness.

But, releasing blame and accepting our experience does not mean we become passive observers. When we allow ourselves to feel the reality of suffering, a deep caring arises. Last spring, this caring led a group of us to form of the Washington Buddhist Peace Fellowship. Caring, not anger, was the spirit that propelled our interfaith peace walk. Caring, not blame, inspired some of us to get arrested as an expression of our concern over the war in Iraq.

Many of us reserve our deepest blame for ourselves. Here, too, it is ignorance—the perception of being a defective, unworthy self—that gives rise to our most troubled behaviors. If we binge on food or alcohol, and the next day punish ourselves with thoughts and feelings of self-hatred, this just fuels another round of addictive behavior. If instead, we can accept our experience with kindness, we begin to break the inner cycle of violence. This doesn’t mean we give ourselves permission to continue to act in harmful ways. But we don’t condemn ourselves either. Instead, we identify exactly what we’re feeling in the moment—physical discomfort, shame, remorse—and meet our experience with a kind attention. As we do so, our sense of identity grows beyond a “flawed” self, and we begin to trust our essence as compassionate awareness. We gradually become more responsible—more able to respond wisely to our present circumstances.

Our most direct way of promoting healing and peace is to become mindful of our habits of judging and blaming. It is a brave activity, because to do this we must let go of our most familiar, comfortable reference points. In the moment of releasing blame, we step out of the story of self and other, the story of good self and bad self, and discover the spaciousness and tenderness of being alive. Blaming distances while acceptance connects. When we let go of blame, we open to the compassion that can genuinely transform ourselves and our world

Daily Om:Asking for What you Want

May 10, 2011
Asking for What You Want
Cocreating with the Universe

So many of us are taught to accept what we are given and not even to dream of anything more.



Most people don’t always fully realize that we all have within us the ability to cocreate our lives with the universe. So many of us are taught to accept what we are given and not even to dream of anything more. But our hopes and dreams are the universe whispering to us, planting an idea of what’s possible while directing us toward the best use of our gifts. The universe truly wants to give us our hearts’ desires, but we need to be clear about what they are and ask for them.

To ask for something does not mean to beg or plead from a place of lack or unworthiness. It’s like placing an order—we don’t need to beg the salesperson for what we want or prove to them that we deserve to have it. It is their job to give us what we ask for; we only have to tell them what we want. Once we have a clear vision of what we desire, we simply step into the silent realm where all possibilities exist and let our desires be known. Whatever methods we use to become still, it is important that we find the quiet space between our thoughts.

From that still and quiet place, we can announce our intentions to the pure energy of creation. By imagining all the details from every angle, including scent, color, and how it would feel to have it, we design our dreams to our specifications. Similar to dropping a pebble into a pond, the ripples created by our thoughts travel quickly from this place of stillness, echoing out into the world to align and orchestrate all the necessary details to bring our desires into manifestation. Before leaving this wonderful space to come back to the world, release any attachment to the outcome and express gratitude. By doing this daily, we focus our thoughts and our energy while regularly mingling with the essence that makes it possible to build the life of our dreams.


Reach for the stars; teh Universe is waiting to fulfill your dreams...


Monday, May 9, 2011

Blame

So my angels were working overtime this morning...I usually say a reading prior to beginning yoga class; I open a book and a reading surfaces. Today the reading was from Thich Nhat Hanh's book called Peace is Every Step.There are 1/2 page teachings that are very powerful. Today the book opened to a passage called,"Blaming Never Helps." "When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade use reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand and you show that yuo understand, you can love and ths situation will change."

At the close of class, I occasionally will choose a reading from A Year of Living Your Yoga by Judith Lasater.The book opened to June 29th and the reading was "I have learned to love some people in spite of themselves." Not everyone acts as we would wish. This obvious fact can interfere with our ability to love them. Today observe those you love and see their faults as what makes them the very person you love. Say this Mantra for Daily Living to yourself, " I love you in spite of yourself; I love myself in spite of myself" and smile.

I guess I need to pay attention to how I am responsible to myself and how I Respond to those around me...Have a beautiful day!

May love and light surround you,
Corinne

Friday, May 6, 2011

Our Beautiful Teenage Daughters

On Mothering & Daughtering

By Sil Reynolds & Eliza Reynolds

Sil and Eliza Reynolds

On Mothering

by Sil Reynolds

I have been mothering since I was a child. Truth be told, I doted on my dolls into early adolescence, and early on embraced the mother archetype as both a personal and professional path for life. Happily, my teachers in nursing school encouraged the development of my intuition and empathy as crucial companions to my clinical knowledge. But it was in my later training, with the remarkable Jungian teacher and writer Marion Woodman, that I learned the essential mothering skills of mirroring and containing another soul, whether your own child or not. After years of teaching, including coteaching with my daughter, I have come to define good mothering in the simplest possible way: Mothering is raising your daughter (or son) to become herself (or himself).

What does this definition actually mean? For me, it has meant making mothering the daily practice of living my own life, so that my daughter Eliza is free to live hers. Jung once said, "The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parent," and I have worked at separating out my version of who I think Eliza should be, from who in fact she is—and is becoming.

This piece of esoteric advice actually has lots of practical implications for mothers who are struggling with or fearing the clash of wills that they may be headed for with their teenage daughters. There are many books and workshops that help parents manage conflict with their teenage daughters more easily and effectively. Under this layer of practical skill-building, though, is a deeper capacity within every mother where she already knows how to parent her adolescent daughter well and how to raise her daughter to become herself. Let's call this capacity a kind of mothering zone—one that she can enter at any time and that is as innate as giving birth—the zone of conscious mothering. Let me hasten to say that conscious mothering is not perfect mothering, but it does employ a highly attuned sensibility that we all have: mother's intuition. Our culture does not encourage us to develop this valuable sensibility, but as we cultivate our own innate abilities, the experience reveals two essential mothering realities:

1) An adolescent daughter needs and wants her mother to be central in her life. It is through maintaining a flexible and reliable dependence on her mother through adolescence that she will arrive at a healthy independence as a true adult, and forge a lasting connection with her mother that will feed both mother and daughter through the rest of their lives together.

2) A mother doesn't need to worry overly much how to be a good mother. Once a mother has established herself in this central position, her own intuition will help her to stay close and connected to her daughter, and will guide her in setting limits and in knowing if, and when, she needs help. Even if a mother wasn't well mothered herself, or has made some big mistakes, it's built in.

These basic ideas challenge the conventional wisdom that teenagers need to reject their mother (and father) to become individuals, and that "the experts" know better than we do about how to raise our children. Obviously, I disagree. Through our own relationship, and now our work together, Eliza and I have learned that mothers and daughters can come through this critical passage from child to adult as friends. How did we do this? I have talked here about my mothering, but the surprising new part for both of us lies in Eliza, and her own ability to claim an active role in our relationship, something we call daughtering. This Mother's Day, I am celebrating both mothering and daughtering as a way forward.

On Daughtering

By Eliza Reynolds

When I was 16, I first started asking girls in my workshops to define "daughtering." I'd hand out scraps of unlined paper and pens and ask the girls: "What if, just like mothering, "daughtering" was an act we could all do? Then, how would you define "daughtering"?"

The word "daughtering" was my brainchild—I believed (and still do!) that teen daughters are often trapped in the language of passivity. Though prolific when it comes to defining the many things that mothers should and shouldn't be doing—no yelling, piano practice everyday after school (they'll thank you later), and no cell phone until they're thirteen—popular culture and dictionaries alike assigned us daughters no role except that of the utterly exasperated teen. But what do most daughters do? Well, not a whole lot, frankly—at least as current teen society would have it. I mean, we frequently get embarrassed, answer in monosyllables, and brick ourselves behind a defensive wall of attitude.

I've found that most teen daughters are not actively involved in their relationship with their mothers. Instead, they view their role as solely that of the unfortunate recipient of their mom's inept, infuriating, and embarrassing attentions (cue the eye roll). As a result, many girls withdraw from the relationship, effectively giving up on it. "I've lost her," I hear moms say. "Just last year, she was telling me everything, and now she just says her day was 'fine' and shuts herself in her room."

So how do the teen girls I've asked define daughtering? Here are some of my favorites:

  • Daughtering is the act of showing your mom the world with fresh eyes.
  • Daughtering is realizing your mom is a person just like you.
  • Daughtering is honest love.
  • Daughtering is the job of blossoming, growing, like a flower.
  • Daughtering is the act of loving your mom and then having a daughter and loving her and then her having a daughter and loving her, and so on…

After gathering hundreds of these testimonials, I have formed a working definition of this new word: Daughtering (daught-er-ing); n. 1. Staying real with your mom and not giving up on her. 2. Creating a relationship where you feel trusted, understood, supported, and loved.

As a college student of 20, daughtering has also come to mean taking a healthy step away from my mother when I need to and taking care of myself. It is trusting my own voice and learning to speak with that voice. Daughtering is growing, often with shaky steps. It's about empowered action and taking the reins in my own life. It is a form of deepest love.

Though I work primarily with teen daughters, my definition of daughtering was first inspired by my own adult mom's daughtering—of her own mom. My mom worked hard at healing her relationship with her mother and she accepts and loves her mother as an imperfect human with her own history and limitations. Adult mothers never stop daughtering.

So what can I say to moms about "daughtering" as we near Mother's Day, of all days? Remember the pangs of your own adolescence and try to make peace with your mother if you haven't, whether she is alive or not. This will help to heal your matriline and give you more insight into how to mother your daughter well. And, just as important, encourage your daughter to daughter. Don't let her give up on you, gosh darnit! Invite her input into your relationship. Examine your fears, note the ones that are irrational, and trust her when she deserves it. Love her whole-heartedly, blindly, and utterly unconditionally. Help her to live her life and not your unlived life. Make eye contact with her when she walks in the door from school or when you pick her up after a long day. Smile. Say I love you—frequently—even if she rolls her eyes. Especially if she rolls her eyes. If you don't give up on her, she will learn to not give up on you.

Sil Reynolds, RN, is a nurse practitioner, therapist, and workshop leader. For more than 30 years, she has worked with women and girls teaching about healthy body image, conscious communication, and the joys of motherhood. Eliza Reynolds is a workshop leader, certified teen mediator, and SOS trained counselor with Planned Parenthood. She attends Brown University and is codirector of New Moon, a summer camp that celebrates the feminine and the masculine within all teenagers. Together, they coteach Mothers & Daughters workshops at Omega. motheringanddaughtering.com

Great Reminder

May 6, 2011
Stepping Back from Anger
Argument

The emotional trigger than begins an argument may have little to do with your present situation, but has dug up a wound.



When we find ourselves in an argument, we may feel like we are losing control of emotions that have taken on lives of their own. When we can become aware that this is happening, taking a deep breath can help us step back from the situation. Once we can separate ourselves from the heat of the moment, we may find that the emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the present situation, but may have brought up feelings related to something else entirely. Looking honestly at what caused our reaction allows us to consciously respond more appropriately to the situation and make the best choices.

We can make an agreement with our partners and those closest to us that asking questions can help all of us discover the source of the argument. The shared awareness can result in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are taking ourselves too seriously, and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could also discover that perhaps we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions that improve our lives.

When we can be clear about our feelings and intentions and communicate them clearly, we have a far better chance of getting what we want than if we lose control or allow our subconscious minds to manipulate the situation. We might take our frustrations out on the people closest to us because we feel safe and comfortable with them, but misplaced anger can cause more harm than good. Arguing for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences. Truly knowing our reasons for arguing enables us to grow emotionally in ways that will affect our whole being.